DC Metro Mommy Blog

School Readiness
By - Maureen Barrett

No matter how much fun gets packed in my family's summer calendar, there is something bittersweet about turning that calendar page to "August" and the passing of these cicada-symphonic days that somehow seem to rush by faster than those first anticipatory summer days in June, when my kids couldn't wait for school to let out. Circulars pad my Sunday paper with ads trumpeting Back to School sales for clothes, school supplies, dorm furnishings... and I contemplate, not for the first time, where resides that place where I can enjoy one more day/week/month of all those things I am not ready to give up? And yet...

As a preschool teacher and mother of four busy children entering 3^rd, 5^th, 8^th, and 10^th grade this fall, I also look with great anticipation and excitement, to the start of a new school year. A literal clean slate affords us all a fresh start and new resolve: to be better organized, to keep up or improve on grades, to make new friends, to learn from past experiences and create better opportunities for ourselves. Older children may rely on previous back-to-school experiences to fuel their anticipation. They may look forward to seeing their friends, already be familiar with their school environment, and, even as they lament the fleeting freedom of summer when bedtimes are stretched and vacations are taken, they understand the cycle of returning to school in the fall.

At our house, we talk about "getting back into the school routine" and half-heartedly try to enforce earlier bedtimes, but I satisfy myself with re-organizing dressers and closets and finding a few new things for each child to wear so that they are excited about arriving at school in style. Every family will find the balance that works for them, and it may change from year to year. I also try and figure out how to tame the paper monster that inevitably arrives (in seemingly triplicate) for each kid...generally, a pile that lives on my kitchen counter until I can stand it no longer and it all gets recycled. Last year, I tried filing things in file folders and binders. This year, I resolve to Act Immediately or Pitch It.

While all children will benefit from some common sense basics such as getting enough rest and starting the day with a good breakfast and a positive attitude, there are some special tips to prepare for a special milestone such as attending daycare or preschool for the first time. Perhaps you already have a special place in your house where jackets, shoes, and backpacks can be hung up. There will be a special place for your child's belongings at school, too. Creating an organizational space not only keeps items in order (no more hunting for a jacket or shoe in the morning rush), but it provides a sense of routine that mirrors what the children will learn at school, as well as fosters independence and responsibility for their own belongings.

Children going to school for the first time (or a new school) will benefit from some extra preparation. The first thing parents and caregivers can do is model a positive attitude about school, and to be mindful of wording choices. "I can't believe my little baby is going to school!" might seem benign to a fellow parent, but may be confusing to a preschooler. It's best to be calm and assured about the decision to attend school. When you drive by the school, talk about how it will be your child's special place in just a short time, and how it is already part of your community. Visit the playground and walk around the grounds to familiarize your child with the surroundings, as well as build anticipation. Most schools have a special orientation for children to come visit the classroom and meet with their teacher before the first day of school. If you have any concerns regarding your child's first experiences, contact your child's teacher ahead of time to discuss ways to reassure both of you. Allow your child to observe or explore the classroom setting at his or her own pace and style. There may be other children in the classroom, which may be a new experience all by itself. The transition to school is a multi-step process, one that the teacher does not expect to be mastered quickly. You and your child's teacher are a team in helping your child feel comfortable and excited about being in a school environment, and open communication is helpful and valued.

Coming to school for the first time is a big and special milestone, and possibly the first time your child will be separated from you. Even if there are tears, it is important that you show you trust your child's teacher, lovingly but firmly say goodbye (sneaking out while a child seems occupied is not a good idea) with the reassurance that you (or a caregiver) will pick the child up at dismissal and that you are very excited to hear all about the preschool day. Children at this age do not have a concept of time, but telling them you will see them after a specific part of the school day (closing circle, story time, etc.) will help them anticipate what comes next in their day and helps reassure them. Allow your child to walk to the classroom on their own, and to carry their own jacket or school bag. You might establish a special "goodbye kiss" or routine at the door that you use just for school. As hard as it may be to exit the classroom with echoes of your crying child in your ears, most children settle down quickly and can only be redirected to another activity after their parent has actually left.

Another idea to help familiarize your child with their new school and the idea of attending school is to give them a digital or disposable camera and let them take pictures...leaving home, en route to school, and in the classroom. You can review the pictures together, or even print them out into a little storybook that can be read over and over. You can even include pictures of the family, family pet, special stuffed animal, or friend. Looking at these pictures prior to coming to school (or even during the school day as needed) can be very reassuring, and can even serve as a reminder of the progress your child has made throughout the year! If your child is very attached to a special stuffed animal or blanket, you can ask your child's teacher is it okay to bring it to school, with the understanding that it would stay in the child's school bag during the school day. During the "sneak peek orientation," some children might act as a "guide," pretending to show their stuffed animal around the school, taking a position of control as the child explains the school setting to the stuffed animal. While bribes and rewards can sometimes backfire and create other issues, it might be fun to suggest a special "after school" activity such as lunch at a favorite restaurant or a stop at a neighborhood park. You can also find books at your library or bookstore with school transition themes. Chances are, your child may already be enjoying these stories during their school day!